T-shirts Quotes .......

* So many men, so few who can afford me.

* God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

* If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.

* At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just can't remember it all.

* My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

* Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

* Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.

* Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.

* If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

* Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.

* It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

* I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.

* Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?

* Next mood swing: 6 minutes.

* I hate everybody...and you're next.

* And your point is...?

* I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

* Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

* Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.

* Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.

* You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.

* All stressed out and no one to choke.

* I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.

* How can I miss you if you won't go away?

* Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.

* If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.

* Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

* I wish .... these were brains...

* I’m the person your mother warned you about.

* I’m not as dumb as you look.

* No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway.

* We should forgive our enemies, but only after they’ve been taken out and shot.

* Never kick a man unless he’s down.

* There is intelligent life on Earth, but I’m just visiting.

* Work is the curse of the drinking class.

* The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made.

* How can I love you if you won’t lie down ?

* I wear the brains in the family.

* There’s no future in time travel.

* Put on your seat belt… I wanna try something.

* Beat the 5 o’clock rush – Leave work at noon.

* I’m not unemployed, I’m a consultant

* I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

* I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

* Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

* All men are idiots And I married their king.

* Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

* My Dog Can Lick Anyone.

* Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

* People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

* There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

* Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

* A day without sunshine is like night.

* Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

* Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

* The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

* I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

* Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

* I’m sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.

* Always remember you’re unique… Just like everyone else.

* I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

* If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried

* Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

* All men are idiots And I married their king.

* In America Anyone Can Be President That’s One of the Risks You Take.

* Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

* No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn’t work anyway!

* Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

* I wear the brains in the family.

* BEER It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

* Out of my mind… Back in five minutes.

* There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.

* A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS–But it uses up a thousand times the memory.

* Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.

* Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

* We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

* It’s hard to be funny when you have to be clean.

* Whatever the questions is, Liquor Is The Answer

* Your Boyfriend Thinks I’m Hot.

* Weapons Of Mass Distraction.

* This is my drinking shirt.

* I can resist everything except temptation.

* Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

* Excuse, but do I look like someone who cares?

* Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already.

* I don’t know what makes you dumb But it really works.

* Where there’s a will… I want to be in it.

* Us blondes aren’t dumb.

* Wasted All The Time.

* Life’s Too Short To Date Ugly Women.

* Blonde and proud of it.

* Don’t Annoy The Crazy Person.

* Don’t make me call out my Flying Monkeys.

* I’m with Stupid.

* I don’t need no Educashun.

* It is better to let everyone think you are stupid, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

* lets save time and just assume i know everything

* GOD is busy…….. can i help you!!!

* If you wanna come second…….
FOLLOW ME!!

* dont worry about about the world ending today, its already tomorrow in Austrailia.

* the fact that no one understands you, doesnt make you an artist.

* there is only one corner of the universe that you are certain of improving and that is your own self

* a good plan today is better then a perfect plan tomorrow.

* Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful! hate me because…well…okay…HATE ME BECAUSE I’M BEAUTIFUL!

* Don’t give me your attitude, I have my own.

* Stop looking at my Brea$ts

* This is your boyfriend’s T-shirt!

* If you read this, you owe me $10

* Watch the b**ch as she gets the bone.

* I’m not a bad girl…I’m a good girl with ATTITUDE !!

* It’s better to loose a Lover then to love a Loser!

* If Nothing lasts forever…
Can I be your Nothing?

* I am not Best, I am just…….Better than the Best

* you cannot trust someone who thinks you are crazy

* i hate being around interesting people because then i have to be interesting too

* love isnt blind, it makes you blind

* love only hurts when its over

* the best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time

* the best thing about tomorrow is the memory of today

* never leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love

* music speaks the words we cannot seem to say <3 * Carry your own emotional baggage! * i am with stupid ==>

* Can’t afford it, can’t touch it

* You want it but you can’t have it

* Who are you & why are you reading my shirt

* WHY RUN UR MOUTH WHEN U CAN RUN THE WORLD

* IM LIKE A REMOTE, I PUT EVERONE ON MUTE

* Why is it said that an alarm clock is going off when really its coming on?

* how young do u have to be to die of old age?
*

It’s better to be hated for you are, then to be loved for someone that you arent.
*

Don’t kiss behind the garden gate- love is blind but the neighbors ain’t!!
*

Those who know me, love me.Those who don’t,hate my guts. Obviously,you don’t know me.
*

dont talk to me when im talking to myself
*

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, “No hablo ingles.”
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.
*

I am a bomb technician, if you see me running, try and keep up!
*

I’m not perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome!

Give me chocolate and nobody gets hurt.

You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.

Imagine your life without me… Miserable huh?
*

Don’t laugh at my pink shirt it’s your girlfriends
*

Save a tree, Write a blog.
*

“Some call it stalking i call it love.”

“Why do i end up liking the guy i can only think of.”

“I was uncool befor being uncool was cool!”

“Get like you? naw Get like me”

“I called your boyfriend g*y…and then he hit me with his purse.”

‘When i said “i’d hit that” i meant with my car.”

“Go bye yourself a life on e-bay.”

“Few women admit their ages a few men act theirs.”
*

“Wanna know how to keep stupid people busy? (See back for answer)
Wanna know how to keep stupid people busy? (See front for answer)”

“Yah. I’m that hot.”

“Yes, I’m free Saturday. No, I will not go out with you.”

“Because I said so”

“You’re so cute it’s stupid.”
*

“You’re not ugly, I’m just handsome”

“You don’t have long chin, your lips is just high”
*

I dont have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem
*

i’am with stupid.
*

i am usually very skinny and gorgeous but its my day off!!!!!
*

Your heart is broken. Can we fix it? Yes we can!
*

Warning: may answer back

the more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle.

how many frogs do i have to kiss before i find my prince?

SMILE- it makes people wonder what the hell you’re thinking about.

I’m smiling on the inside

I really hope life isn’t a joke, because i don’t get it.

LOVE
HATE there’s only 3 letter difference.
*

DONT WEAR MY ATTITUDE………………I’M BORN WITH IT.
*

Does your face hurt? Cause it’s killing me!
*

life is like a box of chocolates, take a bite of all of them until you find the one you like…
*

I didn’t lose my mind. I sold it on ebay!
*

Take my advice,I don’t use it anyway.
*

Im not with stupid….We broke up
*

Kiss me, i’m IRISH!
*

I’m a Virgin…but this is an old T-shirt
*

Why are you reading my shirt?

They feel great.

He/She made me wear it.
*

T shirt Quote: I saw this shirt in the store and i though it was cool it was only 10 dollars and when i got down to the middle of reading it i realized it had nothing to say but if it got people to look at my shirt i would buy it anyways, so now i got you reading my long shirt while i’m standing still but you’ve taken up to much of my time so bye.
*

QUICK!!! What color are my eyes?!?!
*

SORRY OFFICER I THOUGHT YOU WANTED A RACE
*

no money
no car
no chance
*

I come with my own background music!!
*

lets flip a coin…
heads I get tail…
Tails I get head…
*

You cannot overtake everything on the road!

Love me…..else die!

Conserve water..drink beer!!!
*

I am the future of America.
Be afraid.
Be VERY afraid.
*

You never truly know some one untill you fight them.
*

This T-Shirt turns green in front of Morons
*

Its not like m lazy…..
m just happy doing NOTHING.
*

Liquor!!! What? I don’t even know who she is…..
*

Think, its not illegal YET
*

I *heart* your boyfriend

When i’m bored, i google myself

Boyfriend is a form of uglyness so intolerable that it needs to be changed every 6 months
*

Don’t play a girl who plays better

Sometimes i like to pretend i am British

I don’t get into fights
I was raised right
I talk about people behind their backs…its called manners

The best kind of friend is the one who lets you touch them inappropriately any time they want.

Ever wonder how people who tell you to calm down are the ones who got you mad in the first place.

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I’m having a really stupid idea that might just get us killed.

If it weren’t for physics and the law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.

I laugh at completely inappropriate times.
*

F.B.I
most
wanted
*

i may be fat but your ugly i can get rid of mine an you cant ha ha ha o_o
*

I Don’T DrIvE fasT… I Juss flY lOw !

I dOnnO karatE, BuT i knOw kara-ZY !!
*

Take my advice.. I dont use it anyway
*

explain before you complain
*

Congratz, by reading this shirt you wasted 6 seconds of your life. I hope you’re happy.
*

available tonight… limited time offer
*

if you are happy and you know it

keep it to yourself!!
*

oi! my face is up here!

(on front) Abracadabra!! (on back) oops.. you’re still ugly.

i’m stupid
*

“Don’t get smart, stay stupid..”
*

When God created me, he was just showing off!!!
*

RISK YOUR LIFE;LIFE WITHOUT RISKS IS SUCH A WASTE OF OXYGEN!!
*

You may not Notice but I Know You’re watching Me
*

Follow me if you don’t like me :)
*

I am surrounded by donkeys !
*

Sweat is Weakness leaving the body

Respect; if you have to ask for it you haven’t earned it

Winners train, Losers complain

Sweat on the floor is gold in the trophy case
*

Follow me I KNOW THE WAY TO HELL(on back)
*

If Homework is work,,,WHEN DO I GET PAID???
*

“Why these kids looking at me, I am not their Dad”
*

“B.M.W. :- Beer Motorcycle Women”
*

All roads lead to Roam
*

Just when you thought you were the center of attention… i SHOWED UP !!!

KISS ME before my boyfriend shows up

i go to school to SOCIALIZE

girls look at me up and down, and don’t have anything to say, but its funny how words come out when i walk away
*

if you expect the unexpected , then doesn’t that make the unexpected expected?
*

If u truly love somthing set it free and if it doesnt return …. hunt it down a kill it !
*

SO IM SPOILED … WHAT’S UR POINT?
*

Excuse me Sam what is your name?

I feel good when I’m not with you

Check this out ..buy one take one
*

i dont have a problem with drink/work or stupid people they all have a problem with me!!
*

Who are you and why are you reading my shirt?
*

My boyfriends wife hates me!!
*

And you wonder why i don’t listen to you!
Sometimes i wonder why i even talk to you!

Don’t worry, I’ll pretend I care!

I’m not listening!
*

Don’t be smart, you’re not good at it…
*

I’m probably lying.

I hope you realize that by the time you’ve stopped talking I’ve been talking to someone else.

My shirt is blank, haha made you look!!

Even if I laugh that doesn’t mean it’s funny.

If you flash me, I’ll laugh.
*

Rule No1: Don’t loose your girl
Rule No2: Don’t forget the rule no:1.
*

Hang on a sec im just reading my voicemail!
*

if u can read this:
MAKE ME A SANDWICH
*

girls call me frankie dettori because i’m used to coming first
*

You can’t spell STUPID without U
*

The only reason people get lost in thought is because its unfamiliar territory.

The reason people day dream is because they forgot to last night.

If (C) stands for coffee than it is the answer.
*

pick flowers not fights
*

Note to yourself: it is illegal to stab people for being stupid..
*

Hey,you. Yeah you. No.not you.. That other guy. You right there! Yes,you..Do you like tacos?!
*

DON’T FOLLOW ME..I’M LOST..
*

3 out of 2 people have trouble with fractions
*

’save the earth – it’s the only planet that has chocolate’

‘I’ll be nicer if you’ll be smarter’

‘I’ll be nicer if you give me chocolate’

‘My face is up here ^ ‘

‘Who are you, and why are you reading my shirt?’

‘if you are reading this shirt, then phase one of my evil plan is complete..’

‘if you can read this shirt, you are standing way too close to me’
(font is really small, so you have to step forward to read it)

‘the best thing about this shirt is that by the time you finish reading it, you realize you just wasted ten seconds of your life’
*

CAUTION: I suffer from Ergophobia. Warning May Be Contagious.
(ergophobia is the fear of work)
*

On back:
Stop following me, you stalker!
*

I’m Magically Delicious
*

If You’re Not Cheating, You’re Not Trying Hard Enough
*

save earth, because u cannot party on mars
*

(On front) Not worried? U should b.
(On back) On my good days I’m worse.
*

smoking kills slowly …….. so what , whose in a hurry?
*

Everybody has a right to be stupid, but you’re abusing your privelege!!!
*

your boyfriend wants my boyfriend..beware
*

when god made man she was only kidding.
*

You must be this tall to ride
*

Don’t get near me,I’m SICK
*

life is tough so,wear a helmet
*

Think its not illegal yet
*

Keep watching me, I might do a trick!
*

basically i rock…
*

Nobody is perfect. i am nobody.

Everyone wants to go to heaven but no-one wants to die.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

If you cant see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
*

~ Im my wife’s personal ATM machine
*

I can only please one person a day. TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY.
*

Don’t ask Questions………use your Commonsense
*

Confidence;i wear it like make up!
*

Step away from me before something happens.
*

I stopped fighting my inner demons, we’re on the same side now.
*

I see Your Playing Stupid Again— Looks like you’re winning to.

I hear voices…. And they don’t like you.
*

I’m really bad with names, is it okay if I just call you Stupid?
*

Don’t follow me, I run into walls.
*

some 1 give me an x-tra shirt
i just scribbled on it
*

Nothing is impossible..i do nothing
*

It hurts, when you have someone in your heart, but you can’t have them in your arms.
*

who says nothing is impossible..I’ve been doing nothing for years
*

I was blinded by your beauty. I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.

You’re funny….looking.

Dude. That wasn’t funny.

There is no such thing as stupid questions, just stupid people.

By the time you have read this, you have already read it.

OMG! The sky is blue!

Yes, you have the right to your opinion, and I have the right to think you are stupid.

I was last seen wearing: THIS

I look like that one guy from that movie.

I’m not as think as you dumb I am.

OMG! The rains wet.

DON’T READ THIS!

Surveys are showing that 3 out of every four people make up 75% of our population.
*

If you see the police, warn a brother!
*

Its not that you are weird….its just that everyone else is normal.
*

Sarcasm is one of the service’s i offer.

My kids think i am a ATM Machine.

You think your gangster Well i think I’m pretty gangster my self

I’m mature and you’re not nah nah nah nah nah.

Skool makes you sooper smart.
*

If you are rich, then I am single.
*

If i rest, i Rust!

We always hold hands. If i leave them, she shops.
*

Am not broke am just short on money
*

After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, “Maybe life isn’t for everyone”.
*

Yeah……….Nah.
*

99% of the guys in this world have brains, the rest are at my college.
*

I THINK
therefore I am single..
*

If you read this, you will get hurt
*

their shirt is not like my shirt….
*

I can’t help it that i’m awesome!
*

This T-shirt turns green in the company of morons.
*

your outfit is very ugly, though it comments your face perfectly.
*

You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because you’re all the same.
*

Look at my shoes.

My mother forced me to wear this shirt.
*

You wasted the many seconds of your life it took to read this : )

People say im self-centered but why should I care about other peoples lives when I have my OWN to worry about!
*

99% of all women are beautiful
the remaining 1 % are in my college………
*

The Tallest Midget
*

I am perfect*

*Conditions apply
*

My haters makes me famous.
*

Hey baby i have bad vision can you come closer.
*

Beer will save the world….I don’t know how..but it will.
*

The more people i meet…….the better i like my dog.

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person…..think of yourself as a beautiful monkey!

Do i look like a grocery item to you……You keep checking me out.

Looking for a perfect gal??………Go buy a barbie.
*

I’m not 30 I’m 18 with 12 years of experience.
*

You like what you see, huh?
*

Smile, you’re looking at me.
*

I study female anatomy.
*

Does this shirt match my shoes???
Hey! stop checking me out!
*

The older I get the better I was.
*

I don’t like your face…make my day and look away.
*

You remind of MY NEXT GIRLFRIEND.
*

Don’t Stare At Me…..You Will Fall In Love.
*

Look..but Don’t Touch…
*

What are u lookin at
*

Does this shirt makes me look fat?
*

Do unto others before others do unto you.
*

I see an idiot reading my shirt.
*

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

(on front) You can take your mask off…Halloween’s over and you are scaring me!
(on back) Oh wait, sorry that’s your face..
*

100% Good Quality….Expiring Date: Three Wash
*

No, not you, the pretty one

No i swear I’m in college

Don’t set yourself on fire… it kinda hurts
*

I’m sorry My fault I forgot you are an idiot.
*

My favorite t-shirt .. -> Insufficient memory at this time..
*

May I have your MSN? I’m a hotmale.
*

Some times when i am alone, I Google myself.
*

I bought it for cheap.

Don’t read this.
*

umm i was gonna say somthing but i forgot………
*

why me!
*

You got 3 seconds 2 read my t-shirt

3

2

1

loser….!!!
*

I’m lost please take me home with you.
*

Don’t look at me like that…yaaa i mean you..jeeezzzz..!!!
*

WARNIG:Reading this shirt may be harmful to sensative readers, but your going to read it any way.
*

Shame on U girls,
I’m still a bachelor.
*

This is my t-shirt.
*

(On a bright yellow shirt)

When there are idiots around, this shirt turns yellow.
*

Caution: I have multiple-personality disorder and I’m out of my minds.
*

Single again but now with experience.
*

I’m not deaf, I’m ignoring you!
*

Warning: I sometimes spontaneously combust.
*

(Front side of woman’s t-shirt)
This t-shirt slogan is written in braille.
*

You call it
“Attitude”
I call it
“Superiority”
*

ok!!!! u r looking at me….
*

Hey, Wanna know how to keep an idiot waiting….”I’ll tell you tomorrow”…
*

Don’t follow me. I’m lost too.
*

I Rock , Therefore I Am.
*

Blink if you want me!
*

Come to the dark side we’ve got cookies.
(Back of the shirt) Are you surprised we lied about having cookies?

I can only be nice to one person a day. Today is not your day.. Tomorrow doesn’t look so good either!
*

Just 2 for the price of 3!
*

Slow and Steady…….Never…wins the race…
*

I’m allergic to stupid people.
*

I’m the one who won…
*

So, you like reading t-shirts? I have more at my place…
*

(on front)Hey girl what’s your name?…(on back)Too lazy and proud to talk.
*

Watch your step while you are busy reading my t-shirt.
*

If you can read this you’re too close………that would mean back the freak up.
*

Woke up this morning and decided to be awesome.
*

Hey, You look like my next boyfriend, I wanna try someone ugly this time!
*

(Front) Don’t touch this!
*

Virginity is not Dignity, it is just Lack of Opportunity.
*

I don’t have an attitude; its my personality.

Reciprocity works great; your are good, I’m great.

I am an angel; all you need is to put on your glasses well.
*

I know KARATE…and several other oriental words..
*

Borrow money from pessimists, they don’t expect it back.
*

I was born cool but global warming made me hot. :-)
*

If you find me asleep in the middle of the street, please return me to the pub.
*

Also available in sober.
*

Tell your girlfriend I said Thanks!
*

I’m with Stupid ——>
*

I know what are you doing right now. You’re looking at me right?

I think you better watch your foot steps than looking at my back.

If you read this, you are stupid. HAHA. It’s to late now. You’ve read it already. ;)
*

Born Player…

What are your Intentions? Huh!
*

Girls, don’t cry, I’ll be back…!
*

I may look calm, but in my head, I’ve killed you three times.
*

Your boyfriend thinks I’m hot, are you aware?
*

I am what you dream to be….
*

Who………???
Will wash my t-shirt?
*

I know… What I am
*

I bought this shirt just to make you look and wast your time, I am gonna return it.
*

Don’t read my shirt it’s a wast of time…

Told you, people don’t listen these days.
*

I’m in no shape to exercise.
*

Was that an Earthquake of did I just rock your world?
*

If you wanna keep your girl, keep her away from me.
*

Fat people are harder to abduct.